A Bipolar Story
It was a dark and stormy night... In the land of bunnies and faeries! The faeries all huddled around a burning trash bin for warmth. The bunnies, feeling bad for the poor faeries, crowded around and said, "Use our body heat and fur for warmth!" Of course, it was this statement which led the faeries to skin all the rabbits for coats.
"Well, that wasn't very nice," said the Rabbit King sternly, "but my, what beautiful coats you've made!" It was that moment which began the dreadful rabbit uprising.
"Those rabbits gave so much to us," said one of the more-enlightened faeries, "maybe its time we gave something back!" The faeries let out a yell, as they helped the rabbits string up and devour the King and his royal entourage.
"Huzzah" cried one rabbit, "at last we have democracy, and we can live in peace and harmony!"
Many months later, in Rabbit Parliament, the Bunnister was on trial for corruption. "Is it true that it was you who stole all the cookies from the cookie jar!?" asked one very concerned rabbit!
"No," lied the sniveling Bunnister through his buck-teeth. "But, I do have CANDY FOR EVERYONE!" he surprisingly exclaimed, before throwing out hundreds of Jolly Ranchers to all the bunnies of his land! Several of which were consumed by little bunnies who choked on them. Luckily for the Rabbits, they had universal healthcare so the choking victims were all saved. But then they died at age five because, when it comes down to it, the doctors who were all getting paid by the government, just didn't care enough to try and cure rare diseases. But the ones without incredibly rare diseases lived until 11 or 12! Yea, but they probably would have lived that long without universal healthcare. Not the poor ones! Yea, but they breed like rabbits, do we really need more poverty-stricken draining resources? THEY ARE RABBITS!
(Erhem... guys... the story?)
Oh right. Sorry!
The faeries hadn't heard from the rabbits now since the night they aided in the "Carrot Top Massacre." (I approve of that name, just because I have an image in my mind of a bunch of really gay people killing Carrot Top.) "We should send them cookies," said one Faerie!
"Or a bomb," said the very worried Faerie President.
"We can't forget their friendship," refuted the first faerie!
"What else could they be up to," the President pondered aloud, "unless they are planning to come back and take our coats." The coats, of course, had become a symbol of all the love and warmth in the world!
Okay, buddy; that's it.
I'm only trying to make your story bearable!
The whole thing makes no sense.
You make no sense!
Your face makes no sense.
Your MOM makes no sense!
I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
(The End)
