Picking Up Ho-Ho-Hoes
I have to wonder how Mr. and Mrs. claus first met. I imagine that the pressure on Santa was probably immense. Imagine you're in the North Pole, surrounded by these infernal singing elves, always sqeaking out happy replies in their tiny annyoing voices, and just when you're about to snap and crush one of them under your collossal boots there she is. The most beautiful woman you've ever seen. In your bar. In the North pole. This isn't a time for questioning WHY such a woman would come to the north pole, it's a time for action. It's a time for the best pick-up line Santa has to offer.
- You may look nice, but I want to add you to my naughty list.
- You know, these elves aren't the only magic helpers I have.
- Would you like to sit on my lap and tell me what you want?
- I have a present I'd like to bring down your chimney.
- Would you like me to stuff your stockings?
- You'd be amazed what I can do in one night.
- Making girls scream with excitement is actually a big part of my job.
- Any chance I can deck your halls?
- I have a lot of experience getting into tight spaces.
- I did not kiss that woman under that mistletoe that night.
- Guess who's comin' to town?
- I know if you've been bad or good, and I like bad girls.
- I'm good in the sack. Like 12 billion presents good in the sack!
