It just hasn't been my week
I don't wanna complain, but this has not been my week. Its just been really hard, you know? Sorry, I bet I'm coming off as whiny and weak. You know what, I'll tell you all about my week, then I'll let you be the judge.
I woke up on Monday feeling like crap, well I guess that's no surprise, it was Monday. I rolled out of bed, which was really quite painful because I hit the ground with my whole body as opposed to just my feet. Standing up, I couldn't help wondering why I had rolled out of bed, instead of just getting out of bed like a normal person. Also, I couldn't help wonder why my neighbor's house was so yellow, bright, and hot.
My shower, usually a sanctuary, was terrible. The whole time there were these annoying beeps and wails as some asshole with a megaphone outside played every single sound effect he had while screaming to "Put out the second floor!" I mean, come on! This isn't college! Have some damn class, its only 7:45 in the morning!
My commute was terrible. Traffic crawled along at nearly 5 miles under the limit for the entire way to work until we finally passed that 6-car pile-up. Then things got okay, but I was already only 3 minutes away.
When I finally got to work we had to have some stupid meeting about why we can no longer put small children in the dishwasher, which I thought was bullshit because they can fit and they need to get cleaner and its not my damn responsibility to clean them!
When I was done slogging through the morning, I had a terrible lunch. Jenna, the drama queen from accounting, just HAD to come along and make a whole big show because she couldn't breathe or whatever. Oh, look at me, I'm not putting oxygen into my body! Oh, look at me, I can make my skin turn blue. Stupid, annoying attention hog.
Things only got worse when I got home. When I pulled in I found out that my neighbors had moved out. Not just their stuff, but their whole damn house! Just gone. What jerks!
Then I got a call from my mom which always sucks because the longer I spend on the phone with my mom the higher the probability that she will realize I am drunk. And let me tell you, she was in the mood to talk and talk. She wouldn't shut up about dad not working or something anymore. Gee, Mom, are you really that worried you'll have to spend a few hours with the man you love? I would LOVE to spend all my time at home.
Then, just as I was doing my two lines of coke (I do 2 every night for the antioxidants) I got a knock at my door. It was the damned cops! They were (initially) asking me about burning stuff, and I was trying to explain that I wasn't burning anything because you snort coke. I mean, I'm not a crackhead for Christ's sake! I'm just snorting coke like any good, hard-working American.
So then I ended up in JAIL (because I think they still thought I was burning something, idiots) and I had to stay up all night while the jackass in the cell next to me spent the whole night screaming bloody murder about his butt. What an immature jerk. Oh, boo hoo, you ate too much spicy food and your butt hurts, big whoop! Maybe you shouldn't have eaten all that Mexican food before you went to JAIL! Now shut up and let me sleep. And tell your boyfriend to stop grunting all the time.
When my Lawyer finally showed up the next morning he was all "Blah, blah, blah. Serious trouble. You should be taking this more seriously." Someone needs to take the stick out of their ass, am I right? (Yes, of course I am.) He told me that he got us a special meeting with a judge where he's gonna try to "get me out of it." I tried to explain I wasn't burning anything, but he didn't seem to care.
It was just about that point that I remembered that I had smoked a cigarette on Sunday night next to my neighbor's gas heater. I asked him if that was why the cops were so angry. He seemed worried.
So now I'm posting this as I await some Judge (judmental prick) to "determine my fate" as if he had the power to do that. What an annoying waste of time.
I hope I wasn't too whiny, but you've gotta admit, this week SUCKS!